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Gorillaz Xmas Story

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Gorillaz Xmas
By Darien Guy

Murdoc grumbled and turned over onto his side in his bed. He gazed at the blinking
numbers on his alarm clock. Nine-thirty AM. It was too damn early. He squeezed his eyes shut
and massaged his temples trying to ward off the painful hangover he’d woken to. “Fuck.” He
rummaged through the clothing and garbage on his floor looking for his cigarettes. All he found
was an empty pack of 666s. “Don’t that just beat all?” he muttered irritably. Maybe the dullard’ll
have some, he thought, pulling on a pair of faded jeans and ambling out to the car park to 2D’s
room. He banged loudly on the door and yelled “Hey faceache open up!” All he got in response
was an unintelligible mumble. He felt his anger rise. He kicked the door open and stormed into
the room. “Oi, are you deaf!?” he spat at a startled looking 2D sitting up in his bed and trying to
blink the sleep from his eyes.
“What is it Muds?” he asked locating the cause of the noise and finding the Satanist
hovering over him seething with anger. He must be in a bad mood, he thought.
“Have you got any fags? I’m fresh out.” Then he noticed something clutched in the
singer’s arms. A baby blue teddy bear that was missing one of it’s black button eyes, the
remaining eye hanging from a few strings, was currently being put in a choker hold by said
singer. “What in Lucifer’s name is that?” he said pointing at the bear. 2D looked down, let out a
little “eep” and tried to conceal the bear behind his back, but the damage had been done. Murdoc
broke out into fits of laughter, his hangover and quest for cigarettes forgotten. All the while, 2D
sat on his bed looking abashed, opening and closing his mouth trying to come up with some sort
of excuse. Murdoc looked up at the singer, his face red from laughing so hard, tried to say
something, but only burst out laughing again. 2D frowned at the bassist, still looking
embarrassed.
“It’s not really that funny Murdoc...”
“Are you kidding!?” Murdoc said, finally regaining the ability to speak, “Satan, 2D! It’s-
well, I might have known! This is just the kind of dumbass thing fitting of you D! Where did it
come from?”
2D shifted in his bed, looking down at his lap, where the bear now sat. “Me...me mum
gave him to me for Christmas one year when I was little.”
“Him? You really are gay 2D.”
“I liked him so much I’ve slept with him ever since.” 2D continued, ignoring Murdoc’s
comment. “I can’t sleep without him. It may seem silly to someone like you.”
“It’d seem silly to anyone D, a man in his twenties sleeping with a teddy bear?” Then a
thought came to him. “What’s his name?”  
“Herbert.”
Murdoc let out an amused chuckle and rolled his eyes.
“You won’t tell anyone will you?” 2D asked, sounding desperate.
“I won’t tell a soul.” Murdoc promised making a gesture of running his fingers over his
lips as if to zipper them shut. He grinned and left the room.


Moments later when the two band-mates decided to show up in the kitchen for breakfast,
they found Russel sitting down reading the paper and Noodle sitting beside him swinging her
legs in her chair and eating cereal.
“Good morning 2D-kun, Murdoc-san.” Noodle chirped cheerfully. Murdoc mumbled
something in response and sat down at the table, 2D put on a grin, said “Morning luv.” and took
a seat beside Murdoc. “2D-kun, I have your favorite cereal, would you like some?” she asked and
poured a heaping amount of sugary cereal into a bowl for 2D.
“Thanks Noods.” he said, accepting the overflowing bowl and began eating.
                                         “Murdoc-san, would you like some too?”
“Che, that sugary crap? No way, I’ll keep my teeth thank you.” ‘And my dignity’ he
added in his head. He just grabbed a piece of toast from the plate in the middle of the table. It
was cold and just a bit soggy, but it was better than nothing.
“Christmas is coming up.” said Russel, putting down his paper, “Any of you have any
plans?”
“Christmas? Yeah right.” Murdoc scoffed, “What a useless holiday, what’s so great about
the birth of Christ anyway? And who cares about some fat, red, cookie binging old man that goes
around handing out presents to snot-nosed kids?”
“Don’t be such a Grinch Murdoc.” said 2D, “You won’t get nothing but coal in your
stocking with that attitude.”
“I don’t own a facking Christmas stocking shit-for-brains, and even if I did I wouldn’t be
getting anything put in it because he doesn’t exist!”
At this, 2D’s eyes widened and he let out a little gasp. “You know that every time
someone says that a Santa Clause somewhere drops dead!”
Murdoc rolled his eyes, “Yeah, you mean a fat guy with a fake beard in a mall somewhere
drops dead.”
“I remember Christmas back home.” Russel said, clearly ignoring the two feuding band
members. “We’d have a great big Turkey with all the fixins, and Christmas crackers...”
“All you think about is food, I think you should go on a diet lardass.”
“Well I only mentioned it in passing.” Russel growled at the bassist.
“Well, I’ll mention only in passing, that last Christmas I set fire to ten cats. When you
sprinkle ‘em with vodka first they light up real nice, like a Christmas tree, haw haw.”
Russel shook his head. “Man, you are sick in the head.”
“Well I think it would be nice to celebrate Christmas this year.” 2D piped up.
“You would. Hoping Santa’ll bring you a nice new teddy bear? Herbert’s getting awfully
old and ratty don’t you think?”
2D’s jaw dropped as his expression became one of absolute horror and he leapt out of his
chair, pointing accusingly at Murdoc. “You TOLD! You promised you wouldn’t!”
“I said no such thing.” he lied.
“Herbert?” Russel inquired curiously, quirking an eyebrow.
“2D-kun, you sleep with a teddy bear? Aw, that’s so cute!” Noodle chimed. 2D ran from
the room screaming.


2D locked himself in his room for the rest of the day. Come suppertime the rest of the
band were becoming worried for him. Well, Russel and Noodle were worried, Murdoc on the
other hand was currently sitting in front of the big screen TV in the lobby, watching himself hit
balls off his groin and drinking beer. Russel decided that enough was enough.
“Yo Muds,” he said sternly, “Go get D and tell him dinner’s ready. And apologize for
upsetting him this morning.” Murdoc made a disbelieving sound but made no move to get up
from his position on the couch.
“Apologize you say? Like hell. He’ll get over it.” Russel cracked his knuckles and looked
at the bassist in a menacing way.
“Do it or I’ll break your nose, again!” Murdoc looked just a little bit frightened at that. He
scowled and slammed his beer down on the table and went to get 2D, mumbling something about
fat oafs and blue haired freaks. When he got to 2D’s room he knocked on the door, and upon not
receiving an answer, tried the handle only to find the door locked. He banged on the door.
“Come on faceache, open the fucking door you twat!”
“No.”
“Stop being such a fucking baby! Open this door!”
“No!”
“On the count of three I’m going to break down the door! One...two...thr-!” He heard a
click and the door swung open revealing a disheveled and very furious looking 2D.
“What do you want Murdoc?” he said angrily. It took a minute for Murdoc to respond.
“Er...right, dinner’s ready, Russel told me to tell you...”
“...Right.” 2D turned and stalked over to his bed and sat down heavily on it. He took out a
magazine and started flipping through it. “Well tell Russel I’m not hungry.  
“I’m not you’re damn messenger boy! Tell him yourself!” 2D glared at Murdoc for a
minute and went back to flipping through his magazine, not really looking at anything. Murdoc
sighed frustratedly. “Alright, I’m sorry ok!? Is that what you want to hear!?” 2D looked up at
Murdoc.
“You don’t mean it.” he stated simply.
“‘Corse I fucking mean it!”
2D looked at him for a long moment and then said, “Prove it.” Murdoc slapped a hand on
his forehead.
“And how the bloody hell am I supposed to do that!?” 2D leaned over and snatched
Herbert from the side of his bed.
“Apologize to Herbert.”
“........What!?”
“You heard me. Apologize for calling him old and ratty. It’s the only way I’ll forgive
you.”
“But he is! I mean, look at him!” 2D just glared and presented his bear to the Satanist.
Murdoc grumbled swear words under his breath. He couldn’t believe he was doing this...
“I...er...uh,” he cleared his throat, “I’m uh, sorry I called you old and ratty...Herbert. You
actually look quite...spruce.”
2D smiled, satisfied, and hopped off his bed, setting Herbert in the center. “Alright, guess
we’d better get upstairs. Russel will be wondering what happened to us.”
“Er...yeah.”


In the weeks that followed everything seemed to return to normal around Kong Studios.
Apart from the fact that everything was decorated in holly and tinsel from head to toe. Russel,
2D, and Noodle had outvoted Murdoc and had decided to go all out for Christmas that year.
Russel was making a huge turkey dinner just like the ones back home which he missed so much,
with all the fixings and Christmas crackers. Noodle had even set up a small Christmas tree in the
lobby, decorated with lights and all sorts of bulbs and cheap dollar store decorations she’d gone
out and bought earlier that week. The night before Christmas 2D freaked out because he realized
they didn’t have a chimney, and Russel had to assure him Santa knew how to get in by other
means. The next morning 2D woke up at seven and dashed into the lobby wearing only a pair of
pink and white striped pajama pants, he hadn’t even taken the time to put on socks, and looked
on in complete awe at all the brightly colored gifts sitting under the tree. He giggled with glee
and ran to wake the others. Once they were all seated in front of the tree in the lobby (with the
exception of Murdoc who refused to get up at such an ungodly hour) 2D started to hand out the
presents. 2D tore the shiny paper from a decorative mug with a picture of a reindeer on it (from
Russel) and a japanese style farmer hat (from Noodle, of corse) and a few other gifts that were
labeled ever so neatly “From Santa”, exclaiming joyously over each one. They sat the gifts that
were for Murdoc off to the side.
“I hope Murdoc likes the cook book I got him on how to bake scones.” 2D said
cheerfully. Come to think of it, he hadn’t received a gift from Murdoc, but he guessed he
shouldn’t have expected one. Murdoc hated Christmas after all. As they were tidying up, 2D
tripped over the cord for the Christmas tree lights and fell flat on his face. Noodle gasped and
rushed over to aid her fallen band-mate.
“2D-kun, daijoubu!?”
“Yeah, I’m fine, thanks Noods.” he said, laughing nervously. He bent over to plug the
lights back in and noticed something at the very back of the tree. Excitement filled him once
more. They’d forgot something. He reached his arm out and picked up the gift. It was a stuffed
brown bear with a bow around it’s neck with a tag that read “To 2D” on it. There was a letter
attached and he opened it to read it:
To dear faceache,
I meant what I said about Herbert. He is ratty and old and should be tossed out. Here’s a
new bear, his name is Beelzebub. Now don’t get any ideas, I still think Christmas is a shit
holiday and I always will.
Merry fucking Christmas,
Murdoc.

2D smiled and hugged the bear to his chest. Maybe one day he’d prove Murdoc wrong.
                                
                             The End
This is the first fan-fiction I have ever posted anywhere. This is also the very first Gorillaz fan-fiction I've ever written so please go easy on me. There are no pairings but I suppose it could be 2DxMurdoc if you squint. I got inspired for this after seeing this picture [link]

Gorillaz (c) Damon Albarn & Jamie Hewlett
© 2006 - 2024 12Dee3
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TheFeyOne's avatar
aww i love this fanfic! u totally captured their personalities and the whole 2DxMurdoc thing it shows in less of a pairing but more of a family or brother love which i like, i do think murdoc secretly loves 2D but is in denial of it. ^^ i could so see that, murdoc apologizing to a teddy bear, priceless